This is seriously the best advice I have seen on receiving feedback. It goes beyond platitudes such as "feedback is a gift" (sure it is, but sometimes the gift is a pair of ugly socks for Christmas) and acknowledges that feedback sometimes is untrue and/or unkind. Thank you for your work! You rock! And now, I need to go check out those Taylor Swift songs :).
I was feeling low after getting a bunch of comments, some of which were poorly phrased and unhelpful. I said to myself: Loleen has probably written something helpful, go look on her Substack. And you had. Thank you.
Thank you (again) for your newsletter. Are you a Louise Penny fan? Her Inspector Armand Gamache mentors his juniors with rules that also would help in academia (and are a little similar to the questions you pose here!
Thanks for a truly awesome newsletter. Relevant and with sound advice but also honest and so funny. Loved it and will share it with my doctoral students. Thanks and greetings from Australia :-)
A good thing to remember about negative feedback is that is it often as revealing about the person giving it as you. It is often hardly about you. This person may have really negative voices in their head and are taking it out on you. Which isn't to say one can't get something useful out if it as well. Additionally most of us are not good at giving useful constructive coaching. That is a learned skill.
You are awesome! I love, love, love every word of this. Have been teaching for 28 years and have never heard better advice on the horror of managing nastygrams AND valuable but painful critique.
This is seriously the best advice I have seen on receiving feedback. It goes beyond platitudes such as "feedback is a gift" (sure it is, but sometimes the gift is a pair of ugly socks for Christmas) and acknowledges that feedback sometimes is untrue and/or unkind. Thank you for your work! You rock! And now, I need to go check out those Taylor Swift songs :).
I am so glad it resonated with you, Cristina!
I was feeling low after getting a bunch of comments, some of which were poorly phrased and unhelpful. I said to myself: Loleen has probably written something helpful, go look on her Substack. And you had. Thank you.
I am so glad you found it helpful!
Loleen I love this piece. Thank you - such helpful advice.
I am so glad you liked it, Gina!
Thank you (again) for your newsletter. Are you a Louise Penny fan? Her Inspector Armand Gamache mentors his juniors with rules that also would help in academia (and are a little similar to the questions you pose here!
“The 4 statements that lead to wisdom:
I don't know.
I need help.
I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
3 Questions to ask yourself before speaking
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Does it need to be said?”
I have never read Louise Penny - I will need to check her work out. Thanks for the suggestion!
I have been re-reading the series as “comfort pandemic reading”.
Thanks for a truly awesome newsletter. Relevant and with sound advice but also honest and so funny. Loved it and will share it with my doctoral students. Thanks and greetings from Australia :-)
Thanks so much, Petra! I appreciate you sharing it with your doctoral students.
A good thing to remember about negative feedback is that is it often as revealing about the person giving it as you. It is often hardly about you. This person may have really negative voices in their head and are taking it out on you. Which isn't to say one can't get something useful out if it as well. Additionally most of us are not good at giving useful constructive coaching. That is a learned skill.
This is a great point, Rhea!
You are awesome! I love, love, love every word of this. Have been teaching for 28 years and have never heard better advice on the horror of managing nastygrams AND valuable but painful critique.
Thanks so much, Max! I am so glad you liked it.
Thanks for sharing this, Louise. I am honoured that you felt open to share this with me!